I love Mother’s Day, I really do. For the modelling clay necklaces and cards with scribbled drawings. For coffee in bed and cuddles. For a day filled with “I love you” and never having to say no. More than that I love it’s reflective nature, thinking about the love your mother has given you, that you have passed down to your own children.
I relaxed with my family today and had a wonderful dinner with my husband to end a wonderful day. After dinner, we sat down and watched a documentary. I heard about the documentary “Monica and David” a long time ago and finally decided to watch it. It is the story of a couple, both who have Down Syndrome, who get married.
Please watch this documentary if you can. I cried during parts, and laughed, and felt happy, and felt scared. One of the first questions I wondered when Ellie was born was if she would get married, if she could have a family. Difference prompts questions, and that was a big one for me. Will she have the life I always dreamed my kids would have? That is unfair, I know, any child can have whatever life they want, but again, difference prompts questions. I watched this movie tonight and I saw a beautiful woman in a beautiful white dress throw a bouquet to a room full of her family and friends. I saw her dance with her husband and I cried. I cried for that beautiful woman and her handsome husband and for the opening of a door, for the prospect.
Monica’s mother in the film said that sometimes she feels like her as a parent is the one who limits her daughter the most because she is afraid. I see that. I know Ellie will have the ability to work, but what if people mock her. I know Ellie will have the ability to date, but what if she gets hurt. What if the world breaks my baby girl’s heart just because she’s different. But what if I hold her back for the same reason.
I have huge dreams for both my girls and hope for me to accept when they achieve them. I need to give them the opportunity to show the world how amazing they are. I need to teach them how to survive and then let them go. For now, though, I will hold them close and keep their fingers away from the oven and run after them and tickle them and make sure I am never the one to end a hug first.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers, and to my mother who still makes me feel better when I’m sick, and tells me how to make a pie, and checks on me, and sends me postcards when she goes on vacation, and believes in me, and never ever doubts me, and loves me, and taught me how easy it is to love your children with all your heart.