I admit it, growing up I always pictured myself being a mother to a girl and a boy. I grew up with a brother. Our family of four consisted of mom, dad, brother, sister. When I became pregnant a second time, I was convinced I was having a boy. So much so, I bought a blue snow suit, it was on sale, and Ellie wore it with flare. When we had our 20 week ultrasound, the one that tells you the sex of the baby, the doctor looked over the baby and asked us if we wanted to know, ofcourse we said, she smiled and confirmed we were having a girl. I felt a surprising sense of joy immediately flow within my limbs. Another girl, maybe this is what I had pictured all along, two sisters, two girls in dresses, pink and purple rooms. I know there are never guarantees, but I immediately pictured Mya and her new sister being best friends. Being there for each other. Fighting over clothes, yet telling secrets when it’s time for bed. At that moment, I looked over at Mya, who was present for the ultrasound, and it was if all her dreams came true in that very moment. It should also be noted that throughout that ultrasound every time Mya spoke, Ellie would kick and twirl, almost turning towards her sister’s voice. This occurred so much that the ultrasound tech almost asked Mya to leave the room so she could get a clearer picture. Now, I can’t imagine a world where I didn’t think I’d be a mother to sisters. I know they are young, and the world has yet to meet them, but I feel strongly they will be best friends forever. This dream struck me as I watched them today. Mya goes to school only in the mornings, but on Mondays she is there all day. As we arrived home today, Mya tired from school, I saw physical joy in Ellie’s eyes. She was uncontrollably excited to be with her sister again. She followed Mya everywhere, she gazed at her, she crawled into her lap, held and hugged her, laughed while merely in her presence. It was one of the sweetest things I have ever seen. And Mya, she amazes me every day with the care she takes in her role as big sister. She wipes Ellie’s nose with a Kleenex if it’s runny. She shares her food with Ellie, but only after she tears it into bite sized pieces. She knows all of Ellie’s favorite toys. And every morning when I wake Mya up, she refuses to get out of bed until Ellie cuddles her “for 3 minutes.” My family is not how I expected it to be, visions from my 15 year old self would show a different story, but this new family, this real family, is more perfect than I could ever have imagined. A loving husband. Two little girls laughing on the playroom floor. Purple and pink rooms. If there’s one thing I could tell myself at 15, it would be this: stop dreaming of a future that isn’t yours, expectations can be hard to let go of so see that the path you lead is full of surprises, but the future knows exactly what you need, it will give you what you have always wanted, in the most perfect of circumstances.
These pictures are blurry, but Ellie was so excited to see her sister today, it was difficult to get a clear shot.