Expectations

I feel guilty sometimes because I have a lot of expectations for Mya. I expect her to love her sister and protect her and be there for her if times get tough. I don’t know what the future holds for my girls but I expect there will be times when Ellie needs protecting, when Travis and I aren’t there and she needs her big sister. I expect them to be best friends and never forget what they mean to each other. I don’t speak these expectations or even think of uttering them to Mya, I hide them away in a jar, to open on days when I get nervous of the inevitable fate that there will be a time when I won’t be there. But as I watch these girls I also have faith, that Ellie is so wonderful Mya will want nothing more than to be there for her, that Mya is so amazing she will accept her role and be thankful to have a sister in her life who adores her every breath. Expectations are natural for a parent, we expect our kids to grow up, get a job, enjoy the life that has been given to them. So maybe I shouldn’t feel so guilty, wanting things for my daughters when they are still not even old enough to fend for themselves. I picture these expectations playing out already before my eyes. Mya already knows what Ellie needs, when she brings her a favorite toy, when she hugs her for no reason at all, when Ellie gazes at Mya like the glowing star that she is. Ellie is a blessing, not a burden, so I should expect that their love and dedication for each other will need no coercing.

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