Rules

Mya Rule 6: That you will always worry monumentally for your children, no matter how big or small your problem is. Mya was born with a club foot that has required two surgeries. These past few months, in the face of heart surgery, I understand that no matter how big a worry is, when it comes to your children, everything can be scary. Even looking back on it now I can say that Mya’s club foot was really hard for us. I watched parents when I was in the waiting room for Ellie’s heart surgery as they were crying and frightened on the couch next to mine, even though their surgeons relieved their anxieties in what felt like 20 minutes. I was jealous of those parents, waiting 6 hours was hard, not 20 minutes. But I can remember Mya’s first surgery. I can picture myself in the hall of the hospital, hidden in Travis’ arms, and how 30 minutes felt like forever. At that time, I recognized that it could always be worse but I let myself feel scared because for me at that moment it was the hardest thing. Heart surgery is terrifying, it truly is, but even the smallest moment when your child is not right is terrifying. In the future, though we’ve battled open heart surgery, I can still fear an ear infection in the middle of the night or a stomach bug that won’t go away because parents worry about their kids. A small moment to some is something huge for someone else, and that’s okay.

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